Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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