This girl is more easily done than said...
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
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