i permit you to call me
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
being pregnant is like rehab
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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