smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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