Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Terrible idea I love it
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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