I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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