I'm going to jail i love you
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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