he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
