Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
