Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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