3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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