someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
two words...techno handjob
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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