We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
