so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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