It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
