Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
