I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
