Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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