The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
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