I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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