Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
