Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
He is an equal opportunity slut.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
