I need help removing her.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Randomize
