my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
