yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
