im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
