He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
