Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
