nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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