i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize