You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
