...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
