I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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