saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
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