have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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