i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
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