Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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