Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
