just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize