hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
