Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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