She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
