Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize