My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
