I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
