And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
It was like getting head from an anaconda
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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