Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
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