we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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