Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
