If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize