I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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