With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
