so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
