No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
