You did not just play the dead husband card again.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
