i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
