Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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