I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Randomize
