he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
