Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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