Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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