I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
