Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
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