bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize