So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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