why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
