i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
